Theundertaler587

From ProCrastipedia
Jump to: navigation, search
The Undertaler587

Theundertaler587 is a character specific to the ProWrestlemaninatorsverse, created by Munchy[1] at Radcon 2. He is a adult male who speaks in a comically overacted faux-british accent and loves the video game Undertale and believes that Sans, a character from said video game, is not only real, but plays the role of godhead figure who listens to the confessions of truly devoted Undertale fans. As a result of this delusion, he is more often than not seen/heard praying to Sans and relaying each day’s sins to him. He is deeply fascinated with the theme park Disneyland and it’s sister theme park California Adventure, and spends most of his time at either of the two parks, terrorizing park goers and their families with horrific, grotesque and highly unusual actions such pissing his pants on purpose in front of children, or stripping naked in public in order to remove bot flies from various parts of his body. He refers to his penis as his “lemon pipe.” Code Red threat.

Biography[edit]

Early Life[edit]

Theundertaler587 was born on September 30th, 1990. Theundertaler587’s birth name is unknown. He was born with Autism Spectrum Disorder, Cerebral Palsy, Down Syndrome, Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, Hepatitis B, Jaundice, Influenza, and Pinkeye. His early life he was subject to many cruel and unusual punishments and bullying in school. The only times that Theundertaler587 felt any happiness in his childhood was when his parents would take him and his non-deformed siblings to Disneyland, where he could be himself and not be ridiculed as the staff is instructed under very strict rules to always smile and behave kindly to guests no matter the situation or person they deal with. During these events Theundertaler587 had no friends to speak of whatsoever, nor did his parents treat him as anything other than a burden. At one point Theundertaler587 tried to run a local lemonade stand in a hope to convince the populous that he could be useful for something, unfortunately due to his many learning disabilities and general delusions he believed that lemonade was produced by urinating in a glass, hence the term lemon pipe that he would come to refer to his own genitals for most of his life. The only life forms that seemed to really enjoy Theundertaler587’s presence were the many bot flies he manually inserted into his body several times a day, they acted as Theundertaler587’s only friends for much of his life. This rejection and longing for human interaction led Theundertaler587 to take matters into his own hands and take several behavior modification lessons, and slowly but surely Theundertaler587 became a well adjusted, functioning adult who maintained a steady income and eventually married and had three children; a boy and two girls.

Just when Theundertaler587’s life was seemingly on track for success, he was recommended a Steam game by the name of Undertale by a friend. Theundertaler587 proceeded to play said game and through subliminal messages hidden within the game relating to, but not limited to; autism, bodily fluids, and skeletons, he began to relapse into his former horrific and grotesque personality before it completely and utterly consumed him with no possible recovery. Not only has this the lowest and most depraved Theundertaler587 has ever been but due to the whiplash of reverting back into his former personality traits so suddenly, his natural psychological inhibitors have been completely destroyed, allowing him to not only push his body to it’s absolute limit with no feeling of exhaustion, but also execute any appalling or disgusting acts that cross his brain for even a moment with no remorse what so ever. It is at this point where he form a full on obsession with the character Sans, and began to pray to him not only every night before bed, but after every minor inconvenience that befell him, which more often than not was his own fault. His wife quickly left him and took the children with her after proving to be a bad influence and terrifying his children to the point of tears. To recapture a time when things were right in his life, he began to visit Disneyland as he did as a child. He started with a visit once every year before escalating to every month, to every week, until the present where he attends the park or it’s neighboring park of California Adventure virtually every day of his life. Due to his disabilities, the park is required by law to allow him to continue to come back as much as he’d like, despite the horror, disgust, and repugnance that he inspires in the average park goers on a daily basis.

The Second ProCrasinators Royal Rumble[edit]

Theundertaler587 (Wrestling outfit

Theundertaler587 joined the ProCrastinators Wrestling Federation due to a hallucination that he experienced that entailed Sans speaking directly to him, stating that he was extremely distraught with the abhorrent acts that were being acted out in his name and urged Theundertaler587 to stop committing his truly disgusting pastimes. Theundertaler587 took this to mean he had to prove himself to Sans in some way, and that winning the second ever ProCrastinators Royal Rumble would not only impress Sans, but would grant him enough money for a lifetime supply of tickets to Disneyland. He was running low on funds from his time as a salaryman, and a lifetime supply of bot flies to inject into his body. This of course was a total delusion as the official prize of the second ProCrastinator Royal Rumble was a mercy killing. Nevertheless, he enlisted as a wrestler in the Royal Rumble and continued to do quite well for himself, He stopped 9/11 and fended off powerful threats such threats as Movie News and God himself. God himself, otherwise known as The Davoo would later inform him off stage that they needed to "...change the outcome of the rumble." This was because without 9/11, there would be no oil crisis, the source of Davoo's Ted Cruz power. Theundertaler587 was so determined to win the Royal Rumble that he would only fulfill Davoo's wish if it was still possible to win fairly. Davoo reluctantly agreed. Theundertaler587 then searched deep inside of himself before fully unleashing his latent 9/11 blood, Ted Cruz power, and most importantly of all his immense retard strength to freeze time and transport both him and Davoo to a similar universe where both could easily kill and replace their native selfs. They did just that and continued with the Royal Rumble as if nothing had happened. Theundertaler587 continued to be a truly formidable opponent, annihilating any opposition including the aforementioned 9/11. Soon, only Brunswick the Mamoswine stood between him and a lifetime of parasites inhabiting every organ in his body. Finally, after an epic five minute long battle, he was thrown out of the ring by Brunswick and with the last of his retard strength clipped the microphone for 20 long seconds. He now has started a Patreon and lives off welfare in order to supply his trips to Disneyland and bot fly needs. He vows one day he will extract vengeance on Brunswick though it's likely that day will never come.

Gaining More Power[edit]

After losing to Brunswick Theundertaler587 figures that obviously his raw retard strength is not enough and that he has to find a way to gain more power. So Theundertaler587 decides to read up on some lore on the PCP Wiki. He proceeds to discover the six 'tism stones and with the power of the autism stone (Currently possessed by Munchy)Theundertaler587 plans to kill Brunswick and become the coolest guy.

Personality[edit]

Theundertaler587’s intense passion and childlike enthusiasm for not only all things obscene and repulsive but also of all things Undertalian in origin, this coupled with his theatrical mannerisms and his general overbearing personality make him a burden to interact with in any capacity.

Relationships[edit]

Sans[edit]

Theundertaler587 prays to this fictional character extraordinarily often, often comprising the better half of days simply screaming the name Sans into the sky and wishing for him to speak back to him. Of course, Sans isn’t real, but if he was he would probably hate Theundertaler587.

Brunswick[edit]

After winning the second ProCrastinators Royal Rumble, Brunswick has earned the eternal hatred and contempt from Theundertaler587 for beating him at a competitive sport. Brunswick doesn’t really even know who Theundertaler587 is outside of the context that he was a wrestler in the Royal Rumble, and that’s probably for the best.

Bloody Dead Man[edit]

Bloody Dead Man is the Theundertaler587's father[2]. His mother was a botfly.

The Syrup Slurping Sodomite[edit]

Regularly slurps Theundertaler587's penis oil from the ground. Even though it is really gross and says he doesn't like penis oil The Syrup Slurping Sodomite gets enjoyment out of it.

Christ Consciousness[edit]

Often used in a similar context as being red-pilled, woke, or having Cruz Power, Christ Consciousness gives one powers and perception beyond normal human capabilities. One's level of Christ Consciousness corresponds to how far above normal abilities they are, with the average person possessing a level of 1. The Undertaler, being one of the most powerful beings known to man, possesses a Christ Consciousness level of 8. With this level of Christ Consciousness, he is tied with Munchy's mother as the most Christ Conscious being that we know of. Munchy explains his Mother's Christ Consciousness in Episode 62 of the PCP.

Gallery[edit]

Trivia[edit]

  • Theundertaler587 may in fact be the shittiest character to ever exist, debatably worse than the Bloody Dead Man, the other shittiest character ever made.
  • Theundertaler587’s favorite ride is Splash Mountain.
  • One of the many Disneyland employees that Theundertaler587 harrassed at Disneyland in his youth spoke with a British accent, which Theundertaler587 tried to replicate every time that the two came into contact with one another, much to the employee’s dismay. The employee resigned after 2 months of constant harassment and mockery.
  • The “undertaler” part of the name “Theundertaler587” was suggested by Geoff Thew at 3:30 AM at night. Munchy quickly accepted the name. His original handle was simply “Theundertalefan587”

References[edit]