Endless Jess

From ProCrastipedia
Jump to: navigation, search

Endless Jess
JessYT.PNG

Worst Fear: Being a Youtuber
Birthday July 29, 1989
Joined Youtube November 24, 2013
Joined the PCP January 4, 2014
Real Name Jesse Wood


Endless Jess in the flesh. Formally known as Drowning in Footwear, he's the oldschool fool with that oldschool cool. The drowning in footwear, horseshoe, and kayfabe KING. Self-described as the world's greatest artist, world's worst youtuber, and world's cleverest idiot; Jesse Wood is the master and commander of the Endless Jess universe, sent from space to guide us all.

History[edit]

The Footwear Era[edit]

Drowning In Footwear Banner

In October 2011 the Drowning in Footwear channel was created, starting off the Footwear Era with the classic and very metal "Demons Souls Review". Jess would make video game reviews, music, rants, and for a time, ponies. As the banner suggests. That is until the ponies broke off into their own dedicated channel in November 2013, Drowning in Horseshoes. Although there were a couple of Footwear videos released after it, the Grand Theft Auto 5 review is considered to be the ending of Footwear, as mentioned by Jess himself in Horseshoe Finale: One Year Later.

The Horseshoe Saga[edit]

Iconic shot of Jess in Horseshoe Finale, the conclusion of the Horseshoe Saga

Eventually, the Footwear Man lost his way, falling down a rabbit-hole of brony bullshit too vast for one man. He accepted his role in the madness, appointing himself the Lord of Shit Mountain. With his trusty compadre Colt Corona at his side, Jess proceeded to wrap the brony community around his finger with his sharp wit and insightful analysis. It was during this time that Jess formed a loose association with like-minded MLP content creators calling themselves The Horseshoe Crew, named after his channel. Eventually the bullshit overflowed and collapsed in on itself, culminating in the Horseshoe God delivering— what with a shallow vision appears to be —one final promo, called Horseshoe Finale, before transcending our realm, freeing Jess from the shackles of bronydom at last. This hour and forty-five minutes long culmination of the Horseshoe Saga got a sequel in august of 2016 called Horseshoe Finale: One Year Later, which ends with a cliffhanger promising a third and final part: Kayfabe Coda.

The Horseshoe Saga includes all MLP reviews released in the drowninginhorseshoes channel (now called Manchild Inc.), starting with Princess Twilight Sparkle and ending with Horseshoe Finale

Mr. Manchild Goes Corporate[edit]

Jess in an episode of Cerealized

In the wake of The Horseshoe God's collapse, the remaining fragments of the empire gathered to read the last will and testament of the Horseshoe King. In a shocking turn of a events, the departed king denounces his throne and strictly advises his future self to "SELL OUT". This leads to the birth of "Cerealized", a new series of (literally) bite-sized editorials on "cartoon comedy and neckbeard nostalgia". In his will, The Horseshoe King leaves Jesse his crown and defunct scepter, claiming "it can quell any evil" at full power. The significance of this is still unknown.
Strongly opposed to the new corporate make-over, Colt Corona abandons ship to create his own channel of esoteric, outsider art: Horseshoe Heaven. In a cool role-reversal from the previous arc, Colt Corona is now the starving artist fighting the tide, while Jesse has become the corporate shill, though continues to show signs of the creator he used to be. The relationship between the two has been considerably strained since the split.

This era started with the rebranding of the drowninginhorseshoes and the ImDrowningInFootwear channels, after Horseshoe Finale.

Quotes[edit]

  • "THIS is the face of the My Little Pony fanbase, you have EVERY right to feel uncomfortable."
  • "I tell the truth even when I lie"
  • "I guess you could call this...a comedy"
  • "You must have a heart of gold...'CAUSE YOUR TALKIN' CRAZY HORSE!"
  • "When exactly did respecting the dead become a competition?"
  • "We're the pussy gangsters, gimme some macaroni"
  • "Let's ride this poo-poo train ALL the way to the toilet!"
  • "Am I the Devil?"
  • "I didn't sell out, I bought in!"
  • "I tried to beat up the ocean, but always ended up...drowning"


Places on the Internet[edit]

  • Endless Jess YouTube - The big Kahuna, previously known as Drowning In Footwear, Endless Jess is Jesse's main channel where he does about really whatever the hell he wants. We recommend checking this one first.
  • Manchild Inc. - Previously known as Drowning in Horseshoes, Manchild Inc. is a channel with a focus on cartoons via his cerealized series of videos. Back whenever this channel was known as Drowning in Horseshoes, the channel was primarily focused on My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
  • My Japanese Animes - As the name implies, this channel has a primary focus on Anime. Weebs and waifus are mostly what you'll find here. MY JAPANESE ANIMES IKIMASU!
  • The Blue Glow - Jess's let's play channel. Pretty self-explanatory. It's recommended you check out the Best Glows playlist if you're new to the channel. The Blue Glow also has a Steam Group where you can suggest games for him to play.
  • Kayfabe Commander - Previously known as Drowning in Kayfabe before the Kayfabe Commander took Jesse hostage, Kayfabe Commander was Jess's wrestling channel where he would talk about WWE. The Kayfabe Commander didn't like Jess's opinions about the company, so he took over the channel.
  • Horseshoe Heaven - Upset with the rebranding of Drowning in Horseshoes into Manchild Inc., Colt Corona attempts to revive the artistic integrity that the channel once had by uploading old clips (some of which were removed from the channel from various reasons) and even making some new ones. Only the real shit. No selling out.
  • Mysterious Rhinocerous - Mysterious Rhinoceros is a high class My Little Pony analysis channel. Tread Carefully.
  • Patreon - Support the King! Jess's patreon allows you to give him your hard-earned money in return for various things, depending on how much you pledge. Without it, there may not even be an Endless Jess at all!
  • Twitter - Jess's Twitter account. Read about the daily quandaries of the masterman and about how he may have punched a kid at the movies today.
  • Deviantart - As well as videos and music, Jess is quite the skilled artist in the traditional sense as well. Here you'll find Jess's MSPaint masterpieces.
  • Instagram - Jess's Instagram account. A window into the daily life of the insane.
  • And a Few Secrets

There's a few secrets in store for those who pay close attention (or give Jess lodsophmone). Due to respect for Jess and his vision, whatever that may be, those entries have been omitted from this page (however that doesn't mean they aren't out there).

Images[edit]